Disclaimer text
The full text of the fast scrolling disclaimer at the start of the game reads:
Remember, the Bizarnian People's Glorious Free Food and Drug Administration
requires all holders of level two hall passes to register their
recreational animals on or before April 15, 2039. All persecutors
will be violated by order of the All Knowing State Commission
for the Willful Suspension of Disbelief and Disbelief Systems,
in accordance with order FF-666, section 12, paragraph 7, line
33, of Bob's Big Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 2, Revision 7.1.06.
All employees, family members of employees, or any person or persons
possessing knowledge of anyone concealing the whereabouts of any
employee, or indentured lay person, or their various alter egos,
along with their families and members of Channel Zero Productions
are strictly Uninhibited. If you need additional time to lie for
any embarrassing period or periods of prolonged silence, you will
be allowed an automatic six year extension to the standard contract
issued in your name by those other guys in the dark suits as provided
for in Bob's New Big Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 7, Revision
8.12.63. Also remember that state and local taxis are not occluded
and that all forms of spiritual and economic management or similar
methods of torture are not permitted by the trilateral commission
in the quad-sector region. All life leases are subject to immediate
suspension pending investigation by lesser gods and immortality
is strictly prohibited under the bylaws of the current fifteen
year plan. Exposure to certain neckwear, flashing lights, or bad
grammar on a television screen or while playing video games may
induce fits of remorse in a very small percentage of individuals.
Certain conditions may induce previously undetected symptoms of
conscience even in persons who have no history of moral values.
If you, or anyone in your family has a lingering episode of ennui,
consult your theologian prior to praying. If you experience any
of the following symptoms while playing a video game-- dizziness,
altered vision, eye or muscle twitches, loss of awareness, disorientation,
any involuntary movement, or convulsions-- IMMEDIATELY increase
use and insult your physician. Finally, the Bizarnian People's
Glorious Free Food and Drug Administration requires all holders
of level two hall passes to register their recreational animals
on or before April 15, 2039. All persecutors will be violated
by order of the All Knowing State Commission for the Willful Suspension
of Disbelief and Disbelief Systems, in accordance with order FF-666,
section 12, paragraph 7, line 33, of Bob's Big Blue Book of Ordinances,
Volume 2, Revision 7.1.06. All employees, family members of employees,
or any person or persons possessing knowledge of anyone concealing
the whereabouts of any employee, or indentured lay person, or
their various alter egos, along with their families and members
of Channel Zero Productions are strictly Uninhibited. If you need
additional time to lie for any embarrassing period or periods
of prolonged silence, you will be allowed an automatic six year
extension to the standard contract issued in your name by those
other guys in the dark suits as provided for in Bob's New Big
Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 7, Revision 8.12.63. Also remember
that state and local taxis are not occluded and that all forms
of spiritual and economic management or similar methods of torture
are not permitted by the trilateral commission in the quad-sector
region. All life leases are subject to immediate suspension pending
investigation by lesser gods and immortality is strictly prohibited
under the bylaws of the current fifteen year plan.